It protects from danger and can even be helpful in certain situations if “used” wisely.

Unfortunately, fear and anxiety, in overwhelming, sustained doses, can be absolutely paralyzing. These two emotions can hijack your thoughts, stress your soul and make you want to shut down and withdraw from life.

As you look back on your life, how many times were your fears irrational and unwarranted? How many times did they exceed any “real” danger posed by the object or situation?

If left unaddressed, fear creates dangerous levels of stress and causes significant problems in your relationships and work.

Coping with Paralyzing Fear and Anxiety

1. Name Your Fears

People become afraid and overwhelmed with worry when they feel out of control; flooded with uncertainty, they worry about what will happen to them and their family.

They begin imagining the worst and start making up scenarios and scary situations. Unfortunately, these self-created scenarios tend to be more catastrophic than what eventually happens (if anything even happens at all).

To break fear’s hold on you, name it. Start by asking and answering, “What am I really afraid of?” This drags fear from your imagination into reality. Acknowledging and articulating your true fears makes fear less threatening and more manageable.

It’s been said over and over again that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Okay. So let’s get to the truth of the matter. And that starts by you asking yourself some questions. Deal with facts not fiction because the truth shall set you free. Don’t be a prisoner in some imaginary jail.

2. Replace Fearful Thoughts with Positive Ones

Many of us are prone to negative self-talk. We are constantly scaring ourselves with fearful thoughts and imagined outcomes that make reality feel a lot worse than it actually is.

To free yourself from paralyzing fear, you must identify the thoughts and self-talk that make you feel anxious, afraid and stuck, and then start replacing them with positive alternatives.

Choose to remind yourself of the facts. Choose to challenge fearful thoughts with positive, fearless statements. For instance, replace the thought of “What if I fail?” with “What if I succeed?” This simple shift of focus will lead you in a healthier direction that takes you to a much better place in your life.

3. Go Into Action

Action is the best cure for paralyzing fear and anxiety!

Focus on the present and figure out what you need to do right now.

Figure out what the next step is and DO it as this creates the motivation you seek.

When the end goal seems insurmountable and overwhelming, making you feel afraid and stressed, choose to see what lies beyond the mountainous, seemingly unconquerable obstacle.

You can choose to gaze at defeat – on the overwhelming thing that’s stopping you… or you may choose to focus on the victory – to life beyond the obstacle.

Focus on the positive outcome – on all of the great things that will result from you conquering the fearful giant that’s paralyzing you and filling your heart with terror.  And then break down the end goal into small, manageable tasks. This builds confidence and creates sustainable momentum. Empowerment isn’t something someone gives you, it’s what you give yourself. So why wait for someone to remove your fear(s) when you can start slaying your giants right now?

4. Talk to a Professional

Talking to a therapist might make it easier to sort things out and pinpoint your fear(s). A good therapist not only listens but helps design an action plan for overcoming your fears. This is especially important if your fear has begun interfering significantly with daily life and/or has crossed over into phobia territory.

A healthy dose of anxiety and fear is good for you!

Fear keeps you from hurting yourself (or others) and can be a catalyst for change.

However, keep fear on a short leash to make sure it remains proportional to the situation at hand. You can do this by acknowledging and articulating it and then replacing it with the facts, positive thoughts and outcomes, and working your action plan.

Don’t let fear control you.

Tame it once and for all.

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It’s November when this article is being published, a season of thanksgiving for many regions worldwide. Times are difficult for many people as they face financial and relational hardships. And with so much tension and unrest around the world and new fears and uncertainties facing us daily, it can be quite a struggle to be thankful sometimes. 

So, today, let’s shift our focus from our problems, and everything that seems so wrong, by looking at how to find something positive in negativity.

Everyone has bad days that are filled with the negative emotions of anger, anxiety, depression, discouragement, uncertainty, worry, resentment, bitterness, and fear. 

These negative emotions are so powerful they can cause mental, emotional, and physical illness.

Ready for some good news? We can choose whether to allow them to dominate our spirit or take charge and put them in their place and find something positive, a blessing, if you will, in the situation. 

Often, negative emotions result from us blaming someone or something for our unfortunate, negative situation. 

Holding onto these negative emotions and nurturing them is the problem; they’re like slivers in the soul that fester and create a gloomy atmosphere within our mind, blocking all hope of brighter days. 

Finding Something Positive

We must take charge of our mind and condition it to think and look for the positive – the blessing – in every situation, even if we’re searching for it through blurry, tear-filled eyes.

Finding something positive takes practice.

We must constantly remember that our thoughts control our feelings; our feelings shouldn’t control our thoughts. 

Our emotions are often triggered by an event or something we’ve chosen to believe to be true about something that has happened or is happening to us. 

The Art of Finding The Positive

The next time you find yourself in a negative situation, remove yourself from the environment as quickly as possible and find a place where you feel safe and calm; put some distance between you and the situation to create emotional space.

This allows you to put the incident into perspective and be more rational and objective by asking these questions:

Am I overreacting?

What is the worst thing that can happen?

How serious will this be in a month or a year from now?

Could I lose a friend over this?

Could I lose my health, job, or family because of this?

Is being angry about this really worth my time and energy?

How would the situation be different if I just let it go?

If this situation is severe and requires my attention, what are two or three specific actions I can take to remedy it or initiate resolution?

What is the silver lining in this adversity I’m facing? 

What could be the silver lining if I chose to find it?

Asking these questions processes your emotions and has a calming effect, helping you be more objective about what you’re facing. 

Although you may not be happy the incident occurred, by taking charge of your emotions, you will know whether you can change it or should leave it alone and walk away. Either way, you’ve taken ownership of your life and have regained the power of choice, which is a positive result for which to be thankful; what you do next in the situation is all up to you. 

Another approach is to “work the problem” by finding a solution when walking away isn’t an option or the best choice. 

Searching for solutions shifts you into an optimistic frame of mind that expands your thinking and creates several possibilities for how this problem might be solved, transforming it from something negative into something positive. Not only will you see the situation differently, but you might also see the “problem” as an opportunity to learn something new.

You Have Control

Feeling controlled and at the mercy of life’s situations and circumstances is a recipe for misery; indeed, it’s a self-made prison of discontent and joylessness. 

You, my friend, can control your thoughts and emotions, which will be extremely difficult at times, but nonetheless, you have that power; it’s a gift from the Creator. 

You are in charge of how you will respond to the negative situation, which is something to be thankful for.

Even if you didn’t have anything to do with creating the negative situation, and even if you were forced into it by no choice of your own, you are still responsible for how you respond. Even though it isn’t fair, it’s even more important to look for the positive – to find the silver lining. 

How do you find the positive in the negative situations? By choosing to search for and find the blessing. Remind yourself that there’s an equal or greater blessing hidden somewhere in there, which is something to be thankful for, too, when you stop and think about it, that will help you see the situation differently. 

Unlock your best life every day this month by choosing to find the blessings contained in life’s seemingly negative circumstances and situations, and give thanks. 

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